Give it your All
Seems kind of intuitive that if you are involved in something you would want to give it your all. However, this is hardly the case especially if you are not completely happy with your place in life. In the SEAL Team, there was a saying earn your Trident every day. Think about that for a second, what does it mean to earn something every day?
The Hard Part
We have to start somewhere, and the most critical place to start is self-evaluation. For most people turning inward and bringing forward, your faults and fears can be scary. I would do this consistently, and still, do. Whenever a new mission came up or a task, we had never done before. It was up to all of us to identify our shortcomings. Identifying the shortcomings and fears associated with the task will help you find the path to success. Bringing this mentality into the business world, by evaluating the requirements, having a self-talk to ensure full commitment, and executing if committed. But you have to be willing to take a side step to evaluate yourself. The hardest part. But if you do this you will find out pretty quickly if you will be all in or not. But how is this possible?
The Self Talk
There are a lot of things out there that tell you to say these four words or this phrase. These are effective for some people, but most of us have our own way of doing business. So why wouldn’t it make sense to create your own dialogue? In my life, the dialogue changes for my current place in life and sometimes is undefined up until the point I need it. The foundation of this process is honesty. If you cannot be honest with yourself, then there is no possible way you will be realistic about your commitment. Honesty is a crucial piece of this puzzle. When I told myself, “Earn your Trident everyday” I meant it. The ones who didn’t mean it didn’t progress and in some cases dragged others down.
How do you be honest? Well, it is pretty simple really, but even for me, it can prove to be extremely difficult. You first have to cut all the crap society is telling you out. Go to your heart. Your mind can play tricks, bringing up preconceived notations, scenarios about how your network will view you, etc. But is this really important? Some of the most successful people in life are not happy. What? There is a difference between honesty and tearing yourself down. When your, “honesty” becomes hostile to your self-confidence, you have stopped honesty and let your mind take over. I remember when I was in the SEAL Teams we would always say that each and every one of us was our worst critic. It is completely true. I would tear myself down, get frustrated, and fuel my next move from a place of self-anger. During those times I was miserable, overly stressed, couldn’t have fun out of self-punishment. “I get what I deserved.” I hope you can see the toxic environment I created for myself. It is important I tell you about this story because self-talk and honesty can be a slippery slope. It is important to realize when you start tearing yourself down. A good example is this, let’s say you want to make a career transition or apply for a leadership role. You look at the requirements and see some shortfalls. The self-talk, honesty approach: You feel entirely confident about the potential and tell yourself, “I need to get a particular training, read up on some things, and I will talk with others who have done those types of jobs.” The self-talk, honesty approach with teardown: You feel doubtful confidence about the potential and tell yourself I will never get this job, there are people way more qualified, you’re stupid, you shouldn’t even consider such a thing, people are going to laugh at me, etc. Which one feels better and offers the potential for unlimited possibilities?
Remember studies have been done that highlight successful people and their unhappiness. I personally have created some analytical models to show on a global scale what is most important. If you read these articles you will find that people want to consume, but not in the right way. They want more success, constant competition, and more control. But what does this give you in some cases where it is not required? More headaches, more disconnection, more success in business but less success in relationships and family. We can take a step approach to being able to give it your all, willingly and with happiness.
Step 1 Get out of your Head
I remember my Master Chief once pulled me to the side and said you just have to be this much better. What he showed me was his thumb and pointer finger coming together and stopping with a sliver of light between them. My mind was blown, the illustration and phrasing were straight and to the point. Think about it, in competition you only need to be .0000001 better than the other competitor. But it goes much deeper than that, what this is telling you is that you do not need to be at every meeting unless required. You do not need to meet everyone, you do not need to try and learn something that no will ever ask you about(unless it interests you, do what ake you happy). As a leader or even a team member, your attention should be on being just enough ahead of the curve to help you and your team out. Still fully engaged in the process, and able to pull yourself out when it is time for family. Trusting that your ability will be required the next day. Naturally, this pulls your decisions from your head and into your heart. I struggled with this for many years I let my mind run amuck, telling me I need this that or the other thing. Looking for likely worldly results instead of likely personal and team achievements.
Step 2 The Transition
When I got out of the military, I left a life that was fun, dangerous, challenging, and ever-changing. I loved every second of it. Everything I did in that job was because I felt in every piece of my being that it was what I was meant to be doing at the time. Giving it my all was not an issue because I was happy. Before I got out of the military, I realized I had to get a job. I felt I was prepared and qualified to do any job. I am a fast learner, willing to go the extra mile if necessary, and able to lead a team to greatness if necessary. But who cares, nothing about your military experience is fully understood by an employer. They care about degrees certifications, job experience, etc. But here is the thing, the military does too. We had to go through training to prove ourselves, become certified so we could do more interesting things, and prove ourselves over years of work. It was hard for me to realize this, growing frustrated and running a million miles in the wrong direction at first. I thought to myself becoming a computer engineer is the best thing I can do because everyone needs a good technology engineer. What I realized after 1.5 years of studying is that I am much happier leading teams within the technology industry. I could have easily stayed and completed my engineering degree, and been miserable. My mind was definitely telling me to do just that, but my heart was already somewhere else. You cannot get to step 2 without realizing that step 1 will get you there. Step 1 sets you up for the progression, step 2 is the commitment to a better life and giving it your all, all the time.
Step 3 Realizing your opportunities
Now that you have started and committed to the process, you will begin to see your opportunities. The universe will reward the person who operates from a place of love and passion. Giving obstacles to those who operate from misery, and frustration. It is not because the universe wants to see you suffer, it wants you to succeed. Sometimes we need 2 by 4 moments to help us re-evaluate our situation. It is up to you to either take advantage or let them slip away.
Be honest with yourself, and operate from your heart space. Fully commit to personal self-talk and be extremely honest with yourself. It is a safe place, to be honest with yourself, but remember if you feel yourself getting negative, stop. Give yourself some time and return to your heart space. You will be able to identify your real passion, balance your work and life, and earn your position every day with ease. Now you have the tools start making the change now. Look for an opportunity you have always wanted to progress to and give it your all.