Casting judgment can be experienced in every aspect of life. Around the world we are becoming more modernized, but what does that mean. Does that mean we are more technological, we regulate everything to make it better, or we just improve on improvements? Dictionary.com defines modernize as: to make modern; give a new or modern character or appearance to: however, you see fit. But how does this pertain to people? Are we all supposed to continuously modernize ourselves so we are acceptable? Today, on average we see around 4000 ads. This may seem high, but when you consider TV, Smartphones, Google Searches, General Searches, Radio, billboards, or monument signs, you get the point. Breaking this down into seconds, every 21.6 seconds we see an ad per day. Our subconscious is in a constant cloud of ads, and without even realizing it we are casting judgment on ourselves and others.
What Are You Talking About?
Casting judgment happens to us all, I am not immune to it. When someone comes in for an interview you are judging their resume and how they present themselves. In some cases, you have to judge a person from a distance. As a Navy SEAL, we were constantly making calls based on a person’s previous actions, their association or what they were doing at a certain point in time. It is necessary in some cases. In our everyday life, we should not judge. However, society is teaching us to judge with reality TV, fashion ads, who’s hot and who’s not, etc. Looks matter to people.
Wearing Shorts to a Business Meeting
Why does it matter what a person wears to a business meeting? I regularly go to business meetings dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. It is who I am, suits are not my thing. I will admit business casual is something I do, but I am reluctant when a blazer is introduced. Nothing about a suite makes me feel productive, I feel restricted and within a box. I am not against suits and there was a time I felt good wearing one. But there was a point when I thought, “if I do not wear a suit to work, will people still take me seriously?” The answer should be yes but in most cases, it was not. The standard, “Glad you got dressed up” and my rebuttal, “why does it matter what I wear as long as we make this business successful.” Nothing about the way I or anyone else dresses should stop you from at least hearing what they have to say. The important point here is that you should be accepted for who you are no matter the condition. Just because your teammate decided to wear shorts and a t-shirt doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take them seriously. It is what is between the ears, what contribution is continuously brought, and how the person carries themselves which should be analyzed.
1. The First Step
Who are you? The Who made a song about it. Casting judgment is easy to do when you do not know yourself. When you take yourself away from outwardly judging you open yourself to true understanding. A true understanding of yourself and those around you. What if I told you caring can boost your immune system. Would you care more? What if I told you, if you learned how to love yourself and project good out into the world opportunities would open up? Would you do it? In both these cases, negativity is not an option. Being around or projecting negativity can destroy you, your team, even your business. The book The Secret is all about this. Teaching you how to see the silver lining in any situation and to take control of your life. You are in charge, each and every step of the way, you made it happen for yourself up to this point. It is imperative you rediscover or discover for the first time what really drives you.
2. Listen to your Heart
Your heart will guide you through the thick and the thin. It is there for you every moment of the day. The problem is when your mind gets involved. In most cases, it has been influenced by the outside world. Think about it, how many people went to school, or are going to school and got a degree with the goal of getting a job. Did an ad or society direct you into the degree because it said high starting salary? In my college experience, most of the people I talked to were getting a degree for the pay. Yes, money matters in this world but not at the cost of who you are. Believe me there are plenty of Entrepreneurs out there who do interesting things and thrive. Education is key to anyone’s success. The difference is heartfelt purposeful learning. What is heartfelt purposeful learning: learning because your heart, mind, and soul believe in the topic. You know for a fact by learning whatever that topic is, that you are going to be happy. You are going to go home every day no matter how hard or easy and say, “Damn I love what I do.”
3. Societies trick
Before I left for the Navy I was on track to go to community college and get a degree and then a job. But I had no idea what made me happy, all I wanted to do was get a degree in something that made the most money. Every time I thought about only getting the most money from a job I felt depleted, but I ignored and continued. But a blessing in disguise came in the form of multiple college denial letters. At the time, they didn’t feel like blessings, so I signed up for the Navy to fight for my country. I served 12 years and learned a lot about myself, most importantly I found who I am. I went to college and am extremely passionate about my degrees in Information Systems and Business Intelligence Analytics. I feel a drive, direction, happiness, and achievement when progressing forward. If I would have never left I would have forced myself into a degree based on the salary alone, and probably been miserable, possibly even starting over. Through my own personal trials of casting judgments, I learned to shape my process away from a mind process to a heart process.
4. Don’t Assume
Don’t assume you know who you are, go through the jungle to find the answer if necessary. It is a constant discovery for me still. Every time I find something out about myself it helps me understand a little more about someone else. My ability for casting judgment has diminished significantly since I have opened myself up self-discovery. Your unique abilities, traits, knowledge, and perspective are waiting to be found. You are unique, special in every way, don’t you want people to see that and believe it?
The result of all this realization is replacing casting judgment with confidence. Confidence can be seen before you even open your mouth. It can be seen as you walk in the door, talk, sit, drink, eat, and look at yourself. Those who are confident know what they are doing and how they are going to get there. They do not have time to judge because it is unnecessary. I am not talking about overconfidence, which can be toxic and lead to further judgement. It is a fine line but as long as you are aware of yourself, your environment, and what your heart is telling you, you will remain confident.
Tying It all together
We have to start somewhere, and there is no better time than the present. I am sure you are sick and tired of all the judgment and hate going on in the world. You may feel overwhelmed at this point. Take a step back and step forward into realizing who you are. Once you begin to do that your heart will take notice and guide your mind, instead of vice versa. The new path will keep you above societies steering, leading to less assumption. The promised land of confidence without judgment is in sight. Imagine walking around with confidence, looking at another person, doesn’t matter who and accepting them for who they are. It is critical we work towards these goals, together as a team.
Do what is necessary to get moving in a positive direction, take action today and start operating from the heart.